In my earlier blog post, I have written about the different dimensions of personality based on Myers-Briggs Personality Types. One of these dimensions refer to a person's way to organize his/her environment: Judging and Perceiving.
To summarize, a Judger is highly organized and makes decisions quickly. A Perceiver is spontaneous, disorganized, and always keep options open, making him/her appear to be somewhat indecisive.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Difficult Situations for the Shy Child, and What You Could do as a Mentor
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If you are a parent or teacher, always be supportive of the shy child. They are very sensitive. Any kind of ridicule would force them to shut themselves. Doing things for the first time makes the child feel anxious, that's why a little gentle nudge plus words of encouragements are the ingredients to help the child develop into a healthy and confident person. Take note, don't attempt to take away shyness completely. It is a quality, not an abnormality. Embrace the child for who he/she is, yet help him/her reach out and develop self-confidence. That should be your goal as the child's mentor.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Hindsight Bias: The I-Knew-It-Along Phenomenon
Psychology is a study of human behavior. People often think that it is all common sense. After all, who would have the best knowledge about human behavior other than human beings themselves? When I read online articles about psychological researches or studies, I always see comments of readers stating that those are a waste of time, and that the results are very obvious. Well, although I sometimes feel that way too, but psychology isn't about common sense. It is about understanding people the scientific approach. For instance, if a study reveals that people tend to marry those who are opposite to their personalities, confirming the cliche "opposites attract." People would think, "Ah! I knew it all along. It was very obvious." What if the study reveals otherwise, instead it proves that people tend to marry same-minded partners, confirming the saying about "birds of the same feather flock together?" Then people would jump to this belief, stating that it was what they knew all along.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?
There are many ways of categorizing and labeling people based on different variables. Some people might hate the idea of being put inside a box. However, this is being done not to limit each person, but to increase understanding on human behavior.
Psychologists have invented several terms in order to describe us. There is one popular term that describes a certain population with qualities that are often associated with the shy and introverted. These are people who dislike loud noises and get perplexed when exposed to overwhelming stimuli, thus the label HSP or Highly Sensitive Person.
Psychologists have invented several terms in order to describe us. There is one popular term that describes a certain population with qualities that are often associated with the shy and introverted. These are people who dislike loud noises and get perplexed when exposed to overwhelming stimuli, thus the label HSP or Highly Sensitive Person.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Defense Mechanism #3: Overcompensation
One of my most used defense mechanisms is overcompensation. As a little girl, I was shy and clumsy. I was inferior in sports and I seldom participate in class discussions. As a means to deal with my feelings of inferiority, I decided that I could instead work harder in areas I am good at. It was during that period when I started to study harder. The outcome was: I got good grades, the teachers noticed me, and I felt better overall about myself.
Overcompensation is what we do whenever we feel we are lacking in some areas. Instead of dealing directly with the poor areas, we focus more on the areas we are skilled at and try to work harder for them. By excelling in those areas, we somewhat feel that we are able to make up for our poor qualities. If you encounter a person who works overboard, then it is possible that he/she is overcompensating.
To me, this defense mechanism is a great way to feel better about yourself. I dislike the idea of focusing on ones negative side for personal development. It's more important to focus on the good qualities rather than the negative qualities. People have different skills and talents. If one performs poorly on a certain skill, it's not the end of the world.
Overcompensation is what we do whenever we feel we are lacking in some areas. Instead of dealing directly with the poor areas, we focus more on the areas we are skilled at and try to work harder for them. By excelling in those areas, we somewhat feel that we are able to make up for our poor qualities. If you encounter a person who works overboard, then it is possible that he/she is overcompensating.
To me, this defense mechanism is a great way to feel better about yourself. I dislike the idea of focusing on ones negative side for personal development. It's more important to focus on the good qualities rather than the negative qualities. People have different skills and talents. If one performs poorly on a certain skill, it's not the end of the world.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Defense Mechanism #2: Displacement
Have you ever encountered a loved one getting angry at you for no reason at all? When this happens, you know that he/she is only taking out his/her frustrations on you. In fact, you may have also taken out your frustrations on someone else during your bad days. In psychology, this behavior is a form of defense mechanism labelled as displacement.
Displacement is the transfer of impulses from a desired target to a more convenient and non-threatening subject. So when the boss gets angry at you, instead of shouting back at him (You don't want to do that, right?), you shout at your spouse, child, best friend, pet, or whoever is available when you get home. Displacement does not only refer to negative actions but also to positive ones. Say, if you feel very happy after learning about your passing in an exam, you immediately hug the person next to you when the real target (your close friend or loved one) is not available at the moment.
Displacement, especially when dealing with negative impulses, saves us from negative consequences. You are able to apply your frustrations to a safer target and vent out your emotions. Personally though, when I was about to vent out my negative emotions to an innocent loved one, I try to control myself. After all, I don't want to hurt a person who has no faults at all. To me, although this defense mechanism has its own advantages, the best thing to do is to deal with the real cause of problem in a healthier and more productive way. Of course, not every situations has an easy remedy. So you might as well find a nonliving object as a target of your defense mechanism.
Displacement is the transfer of impulses from a desired target to a more convenient and non-threatening subject. So when the boss gets angry at you, instead of shouting back at him (You don't want to do that, right?), you shout at your spouse, child, best friend, pet, or whoever is available when you get home. Displacement does not only refer to negative actions but also to positive ones. Say, if you feel very happy after learning about your passing in an exam, you immediately hug the person next to you when the real target (your close friend or loved one) is not available at the moment.
Displacement, especially when dealing with negative impulses, saves us from negative consequences. You are able to apply your frustrations to a safer target and vent out your emotions. Personally though, when I was about to vent out my negative emotions to an innocent loved one, I try to control myself. After all, I don't want to hurt a person who has no faults at all. To me, although this defense mechanism has its own advantages, the best thing to do is to deal with the real cause of problem in a healthier and more productive way. Of course, not every situations has an easy remedy. So you might as well find a nonliving object as a target of your defense mechanism.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Defense Mechanism #1: Sublimation
We, as human beings, have urges. We desire to eat, sleep, drink, talk, or walk, and it is just natural to satisfy these desires. But sometimes, we come up with an urge so negative (such as kicking someone) that we are caught in between satisfying them or acting according to good social standards. After all, what sets us apart from animals is the ability to act morally despite the negative urges we feel.
When we encounter such urges, we don't immediately act upon them. Instead, we think about how to channel these energies based on our moral standards. When we fail to achieve our desires in a healthy way, it often leads to guilt. However, there is a way that our ego deals with negative desires and turn them into positive ones: by channeling these urges into socially acceptable means, a process called sublimation.
In fact, this defense mechanism is the most mature and useful type among all. For instance, if a person has some sexual urges, he could positively channel these energies through painting rather than going to brothels. Another example, if a person has a strong aggressive energy, she could channel it through sports instead of hurting other people.
The concept of sublimation is indeed a useful concept when dealing with delinquents. Instead of trying to stop him from becoming aggressive, psychologists could help him channel his aggression into something socially acceptable.
When we encounter such urges, we don't immediately act upon them. Instead, we think about how to channel these energies based on our moral standards. When we fail to achieve our desires in a healthy way, it often leads to guilt. However, there is a way that our ego deals with negative desires and turn them into positive ones: by channeling these urges into socially acceptable means, a process called sublimation.
In fact, this defense mechanism is the most mature and useful type among all. For instance, if a person has some sexual urges, he could positively channel these energies through painting rather than going to brothels. Another example, if a person has a strong aggressive energy, she could channel it through sports instead of hurting other people.
The concept of sublimation is indeed a useful concept when dealing with delinquents. Instead of trying to stop him from becoming aggressive, psychologists could help him channel his aggression into something socially acceptable.
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